My twin boys have been at college almost a week and a half. I can finally walk into their room without tearing up. That mystifies me, because more than once this summer I suggested they leave early for college. The relationship between mother and 18-year-old boy is a complicated one, filled with shrugs and non-communication on one end, and an expectation of complete conversation with an adult from the other. What was I thinking? They are fully into the pull-away stage, the stage where they exist completely separately from the woman who brought them into the world.
Then they go to class for the first time. That's when I got phone calls and conversation. And I was so happy to have it, to try and help with any anxiety. They have a lot ahead of them, some of it hard, some of it thrilling, all of it essential to growing into adulthood.
With time to reflect on the many ways I could have better handled the last year with them, it occurred to me there are countless things I should have told them, even if the response was a shrug and "gotta go mom." So, I have decided to parse out my little tidbits of advice as it comes to me, via e-mail.
Here is my first installment:
Hi guys,
An important tip.
In order to make sure you don't miss any of the million things professors want you to do/remember, pay attentio nto those syllabi. Spread them out and write down EVERYTHING in your planner. Include reading expectations, projects, quizzes, tests.
I have about a billion more things I forgot to tell you the last 18 years. (Yikes, almost 19!) So I guess I will be sending these quite often.
Love you,
Mom
